Life happens, even when you don’t notice it.

‘Life happens, even when you don’t notice it.’

I have not sent out newsletters for the past two months and I felt pretty ashamed about, didn’t I promise regular input and support to those who signed up to my newsletter?! Yes, I did. And yet, life happens, even when we don’t notice it.

Let me take you with me, a few months back, into when and why my perspective and time-frame shifted (once again) and made me realise even more, how non-linear time is, and how much time we are actually given to grow, transform and share our learnings with others, when we only learn to allow it, and find the bravery to trust that all is good just as it is, without stopping to consciously evolve.

What do I mean by that? I tell you what.

Only 14 months back I was tired from being inspirational, and I was fed-up from being in a constant self-exploration and self-optimisation, I felt stuck and like I had finalised another level, without knowing when the next was to begin, and at the same time I was hopeful and full of trust, that all that what was next to come, would be what I had longed for all my life. Simply said: I was ready to take the next step, not knowing where to expect it from (aka leap if faith), yet knowing, that it was about time, and that it was gonna be big, and that ‘all I had to do’ was to look out, feel into, and be open for it once it had arrived. Easier said than done…

Ever since the day of the first lockdown, on which I broke off my back-then relationship, I had consciously chosen to work on myself: work on sitting with my feelings, on not identifying with the fear and the rage and the sadness that kept overflowing me on a daily base, after years having spent in a toxic relationship; work on who I wanted to be and what I wanted to give outside of what I thought society expected me to be; work on patience and tolerance, understanding and conscious growth.

And so I went to treat myself with a retreat of a special kind, out on an island I didn’t like, for I price I couldn’t afford, with a teacher I didn’t know, and in a weather situation I couldn’t bear any longer. But my intuition told me to go for it. When I landed on the island something was different. I felt it in my veins. Something was pulling me. The closer I got to the venue a deep curiosity came over me. As I sat down to have some lunch all by myself, I had an encounter one can only describe as magical. I met my now-husband. I saw him for a brief moment only, I didn’t know if he was married, or had children, I didn’t know if I was to see him again, or if he was just by-passing, but my heart knew it all. It knew: I was home. What followed was a magical, yet breath-taking haze.

Since then I moved in with him, moved cities, countries, I changed my professional set-up once again, something that I had just once again built up in hard labour, to all of a sudden start over again in a new culture and with different regulations and requirements I yet had to find out, then we got married in the most beautiful ceremony, I started to build a new circle of friends and allies, so to speak trying to regain a network of some kind, that nourishes my intellectual, emotional and professional longings outside of my husband, I wrote a book, ….what else is there to say.

Well, for example that I, like many others, am dealing with missing my kin every day. I am dealing with the fear of not getting back into the game of professional impact. I am dealing with understanding, that the home I sought out to find, is a different kind of home, than the one I left behind. And even though I always said I felt sort of homeless, having left the earth I grew roots upon, made me understand, that there are different kind of homes in this world, and that culture is more than just a flag and a country, but it’s all that is connected to that flag, to that country, to the people, their history and regional compounds, that makes us of so different and so alike at the same time, no matter where you look in the world.

I mean all of a sudden you miss and value the slang you grew up with, the colour of the sun rise and the sun set, the smell of the earth after the first summer rain, the kind of trees and bees and birds and butterflies, the kind of meanings behind street signs and the sayings of the elderly of the region, the corners you know in and out, and the memories they hold every time you watched your city change around those corners, like you watched your country change, your people change, and all of a sudden you understand how much of a home you always had and that you will carry it in you wherever you go — or for at least I will, yet I am sure many of you already feel what I speak of, for many of you have had those changes in their lives before. Marlene Dietrich once sang: ‘Ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin — I still have a luggage in Berlin’. Well, I feel her, and I always will, too.

That being said, I still acknowledge the search my heart was on, before I found this home I know call my own, and that is the home of a human life continuing its path. A path found in a partner of choice. A path carrying on the heritage of what once was, into becoming what shall be: our own little family, merging what we were both equipped with, may it be hopes and dreams, ideas and lifestyles, experiences and new solutions. Building our own new world together as partners in crime and in love.

I now know more than ever: There are many pitfalls along the way of getting what you want, for there is always something we have to give instead. For me it was my recently established security. My network, my financial flow, my work-places, and it roams my mind almost every day. And oftentimes I expect myself to rebuild it faster than I even gave it up. Which of course is impossible, because I gained it through years and years of constantly working and shaping my world and my offerings, by collecting experiences and using them in the most creative ways. And all I must do to come back to reality and to come back to my trust and patience, is to look at what I have gained instead, and how I have made this happen, and how it is more than I could have ever imagined, because we cannot imagine life, its too rich, but we can dream of its wildest colours and walk its most remote paths, and we can take a leap of faith into the unknown, once we understand, that the so called scary unknown is the field of infinite possibilities, which comes to manifest itself, the moment it gets consciously walked and therefore used!

So USE it!

I know now, what I had to ‘give up’, is what I carry with me wherever I go — for it is not what I had manifested, but how I did it. It is the ability to make a living, the understanding to build a network, the bravery to make a new culture and a new land grow on me, until I will learn about its soil and weather, to being able to grow my roots into it.

The second part, that new life that I found, is still beyond belief to me, and yet it all makes sense, for I have manifested it in each and everyone of my actions in the past years, walking the path of the unknown, following my instincts, making my experiences, letting my heart decide where to go, and my mind figure out how to do it. Again a quality everyone can learn, which can never be taken away from you, ever again!

And whenever I flounder, thinking that my life should be more structured, and things should go faster, and success should be more steady, and networks should grow faster, I look back at just 14 months, I look at what I have made happen, at the kind of success most of us do not count, like finding love, only from working so profoundly on who I truly am in this world, coming forth wholeheartedly, authentically, sharing my deepest feelings and worthy services with those I connected myself with, so that I created the serendipities that catapulted my life into the next level.

That kind of success, the single parts of our path, those of love, and life, and peace, and creation, are what we all should focus on more, much more. For the puzzle peaces make the picture whole and they are of our own making. Tremendous, I say.

We all manifest this world. With every thought and every action and every conscious move, we shape this world, and this world is made of many small worlds, many puzzle pieces like families, like circles of friends, like networks, like cultures, like like like.

If you are currently in a state in which you doubt your path, or find it hard to trust that great love, financial flow, professional success, profound friendships will find you, I can tell you it does — all you got to do is to remain brave, for bravery is the ticket to making experiences, and consciously made experiences form an awareness that sharpens your intuition, which automatically leads towards a life, that in itself is not only grand, but also feels like it to you, every day.

And yes, I worry and I doubt, and yet I know it’s for the sake of staying sharp to never stop exploring this world, the people in it, the opportunities and challenges, the love and the kindness.

I have learned one thing: the only thing I know, is that I don’t know anything. Therefore I must continue to experience and test and trial and error my way through life. Living my knowledge, not preaching it.

If you, like me, wonder what’s next, the more you look for your puzzle pieces, for how far you have made it, for how far you have come, in order to decide to enjoy the state you are in, the faster the so called future will reveal itself to you, by simply showing up, for you are ready to see.

To conclude my story, I have been silent because I needed to collect some more life-altering experiences, which I can now start to make use of myself, which I can use to teach and to advice and serve all those, who feel spoken to. Those who may want to receive some guidance, like I received it every now and then along my way, this is the most important part of the body of my work — and I guess it’s called LIFE COACHING, for it includes everything that is part of this life.

Sometimes in life it’s about collecting memories and experiences, sometimes it’s about letting them work deep inside of you in silence, and then it’s about birthing them by using their potency, in order to create the next offering, the next service, the next chapter. Whichever part you are currently in, know this: Life always continues in your favour. What comes, never stays like it is. What is, never leaves without changing. And what has changed, never comes back in its old form. Just flow with it. Be brave. Trust it. Seek help and give help.

I am currently working on my next form, my next creation, and until I have found out what it exactly is, I keep up my services as a coach and advisor, hosting workshops, providing you with tips and tricks for body mind and spirit, meditational music, spoken word and letters from the heart.

In this newsletter I will share my recent endeavours, to spread hope to all who need it. I will provide you the numerology reading for the month of July to offer guidance, to keep you grounded and calm; and I will include some poetry, for it always fills my heart with joy reading them.

Next month already, I will be leaving onto a longer journey deep into heart of the motherland, and I can’t wait to see and share who I will have become after, and what I will then have to offer to you.

Happy Summer — may it be haze one.

Yours,

Team RISE.